All Your Base Are Belong to Us!

There was an attack on the Sheldonian Imperial Palace of the Emperor last Friday, presumably by pirates, possibly air pirates. I say "presumably" because they did not stay to plunder, knowing full well that I would have given them the pirate mashing of a lifetime. No, instead they merely smashed the Imposing Portal and the Great Front Wall, two of Sheldonia's Seven Great Architectural Wonders, then made a hasty retreat. A great Sheldonian wrecking crew was assembled to disassemble the remnants of the Imposing Portal. It took them most of Saturday. Let one thing be known for certain; the perpetrators of this heinous act shall be found and brought to brutal Sheldon-style justice.